Bohn Jlackburn

I'm not a bad person, at least I don't think I am. I don't maim puppies, I don't kidnap children, and I don't get the train without paying. But even saints like myself are not infallible, and this morning, in a rush to get out the door so as not to be late for my maths exam, I forgot my season ticket. No biggy, I could just buy a ticket on the train anyway.

So after the cataclysmic failure of my maths exam, i just wanted to get home at the end of the day, and just getting to the platform in time, I jumped on to the train. I sat down with my friends before trying to see the guard. Happy days, the guard, was just checking tickets at the end of my carriage. However when I tried to purchase a ticket, I was informed by the guard (whom I will refer to as Bohn Jlackburn) that 'He was doing fines today'. After a short interchange it became clear to me that he was a jobsworth prick and was not going to let me get away without writing something in his little gay faggot book. At this point, I don't think either of us were entirely sure what I'd done wrong. Bohn quickly backed away from threatening me with a fine, preferring something called an 'unpaid fair notice', requiring me to pay the cost of the ticket. As i'd intended to do this in the first place. Nice one Bohn. This 'unpaid fair notice' was not as simple as it sounds. After miss-spelling the name 'Christopher' twice, and requiring it to be written for him, instead of spelled aloud, Bohn eventually managed to serve me with this notice (charging me £3.80). I asked him whether i still had to pay if i had a season ticket, and he, very begrudgingly, directed me to the back of my notice. No. No i did not. All i had to do was appeal with proof i have one and i wouldn't have to pay at a penny. My maths may not be quite up to A-level standard yet.. but it seems to me Bohn Jlackburn managed to waste a good 10 minutes only to end up losing Wouth Sest Trains £3.80. Revenue protections officer my arse.

UPDATE: Appeal upheld. Won't be paying a penny.